ChaRismaLyte

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 14:22:09 GMT

We've been hanging on for so long. I don't know where this road will take us, but I know that one day will spell 'Goodbye' for the both of us. My heart aches to see your smile; to not know for how many more blessed mornings I will get to hear your voice before anyone else's. My head says no, but my heart says yes... Argh! Why is this so difficult?! I've got it all planned out.

sigh

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:53:56 GMT

I miss you! I miss you! I miss you!

& today is different...

...'cos I know you miss me back.

HELLO! again...

Mon, 23 Nov 2009 14:29:14 GMT

as usual, i got lazy and haven't been updating my livejournal for some time. so here i am, trying to redeem myself... again. and speaking of lazy, i wanna say something random:

THE LAZY TRAINER vs. THE COMPLACENT TRAINER

who will win?

anyway, since i stopped school, i seem to be doing the things i've always wanted to do but never had the chance or time to more and more! i know everyone's gonna be on my case, saying that i've wasted 2 years of my life and all that money. but hey, if i didn't go through with this 2 years in english literature, i don't think i would've been able to find myself. being honest to yourself isn't easy. but it sure makes you happy! i can't wait to find out what life has in store for me now!

AND, i wanna say, i believe God has been behind every decision that i've had to take so far. His timing is perfect. and i've got

ABSOLUTELY
nothing to worry about...

You said forever... ya rite...

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 13:41:06 GMT

i'm tired of holding on. you keep slipping away, and i'm tired of holding on to you. i think it's best that i let you go. i would rather rip the band-aid off, get hurt, cry for you and dry my tears for the last time, then let myself bleed to death for the rest of my life. yup... i think that's what i'll do. i'll let you go.

God... just give me the strength i need...

Tue, 26 May 2009 15:54:39 GMT

looks like the season for the unravelling of true colours is upon us. ladies and gentlemen. hold on tight.
it's about to get ugly.

really really ugly.

Tue, 26 May 2009 15:34:07 GMT

even today, i'm surrounded by a sea of selfish people...

how can today be the BEST and the WORST day of my life?!

Nooooo!!!

Wed, 25 Mar 2009 06:39:50 GMT

yesterday Kejen passed his class2 bike test. i was SO EXCITED, cos that meant he was going to go get a new bike! i couldn't wait for him to give me a ride on his new bike... (and God knows i love FAST!)

but life is unfair...

the idiot called me yesterday to tell me that he got the bike. (yay!) not the one he said he was gonna get, but a yellow bike that was much more expensive, which he really really liked. (okai..) and while he was whining about what a huge hole he had in his pocket now, he casually mentioned that the bike was a single seater... NO PILLION RIDER. (Nooooo!!!)

*sigh*

i guess that's the end of my Friday late night rendezvous...

why?!

i've got 4 Words for you. "Say What You Like..."

Tue, 24 Mar 2009 18:10:43 GMT

i just read the article "Church Raises $19m in 24hrs." an article by the Straits Times on how my church (New Creation Church) managed to raise SO MUCH MONEY in just one day, and during an economic crisis too!

i can imagine what people must be saying right now. i noe most of you think we shouldn't be lavishing such money on a church building and we should give the money to the poor instead. here's a little fact about life. life is unfair. it's like this; if Brad Pitt or Jessica Alba were to save a kid from getting run over by a car while crossing the road, it would be all over the papers. "Actor is a True Hero!" and the whole world would celebrate. but if an old man from across the street were to do the same thing, who'd care? a few months ago when our church had a donation drive drive for Salvation Army, and thousands of members donated, leaving Carrefour practically sold out on everything, nobody thought it was worth mentioning in the papers. one day we decide to collect money to build our own church, BIG NEWS. i'm not asking that we should've been in the news when we actually gave to the poor. what i'm saying is, you don't know. the newspaper isn't going to explain to you that we did it for God, so let me try and explain.

i've heard this from many people, especially my friends. "$19m will still go far if you gave it to the poor! why waste it on building a church?!" you you remind me of a story in the bible...

6Meanwhile, Jesus was in Bethany at the home of Simon, a man who previously had leprosy. 7While He was eating, a woman came in with a beautiful alabastar jar of expensive perfume and poured it over His head. 8The disciples were indignant when they saw this. "What a waste!" they said. 9"It could have been sold for a high price and the money given to the poor." 10But Jesus, aware of this, replied, "Why criticise this woman for doing such a good thing to me? 11You will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me..."
Matthew 26:6-11

imagine you loved a person beyond your own understanding, and their birthday was coming up. wouldn't you want to also rush out and get them the most expensive thing you could buy, just to show them how much you care? or would you rather save that money so you could give it to the poor? no one in our church was forced to give. we gave out of the fullness of our hearts. being in New Creation Church has changed not only mine but thousands of lives in Singapore, and millions more the world over. how can we not give? and let me remind you, many of the people who gave are themselves not rich. but we give with a hope in our hearts, knowing our God will take care of us. the church is like a home. we were just saving up money to build a brand new house to live in.

if you still feel you can't understand what i'm trying to say and all this sounds like a load of crap to you, then i've got 4 words for you. "SAY WHAT YOU LIKE..." because as for me and my house, we're gonna continue 'WASTING' our time and money for God. 'cause we know the rewards are now in this very life. (whoohoo!)

and who told you it took only 24hrs to raise $19m?! it took 10years (or more) of preaching...

the Human Condition.

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 08:23:47 GMT

i sometimes wonder why God made us the way we are...

i was surfing the net (another brilliant invention by mankind!) the other day. my ex-bf's current gf, added me as a friend on facebook. i remember thinking that it's been more than 2 yrs since the BASTARD broke up with me, so there's no point in bearing any grudges with him or her. besides, i'm way over him. (or so i thought/hoped/believed...) then, just as i was about to click 'Accept' i saw her profile picture of the two of them holding on to each other. i was posessed by the green devil and i hit the 'Ignore' button instead while i was screaming the word "BITCH!" inside my head. (i was in the library...) i couldn't help but laugh at myself later on. i can't believe i was still jealous! (let alone angry, hurt & mildly disturbed...) but can u blame me? after all, i'm only human.

it's amazing that one person can go through such an array of emotions in a lifetime.
Joy, Love & Desire.
Rage, Terror & Pain.
have u ever wondered why?
how our imaginations can bring us to places we've never dreamed of before?
how we are capable of the kindest, most noble things, yet equally capable of the most horrifying things?
how we hope that we can live forever, but are always inventing new ways to destroy each other?

i've always wondered at what he did to me. he was my best friend. and i've never understood how he could bring himself to hurt me the way he did. i mean, if he never loved me, why ask me to be his girlfriend in the first place rite? it's the strangest thing to be hurt by the very person you thought you would be safe with. i wonder what was going through his mind when decided to do what he did... better yet, what would i have done if i were in his shoes?

i'm not sure if there is a reason for us being here or why these things happen to us. i bet we've all asked 'WHY?!' at some point of our lives. and none of us any closer to the answer... but one thing i know, is that the questions that we ask, and the journey we take to have them answered, are the very things that defines us; make us who we are. makes us human.

the Human Condition. our existence will always be a mystery to us. even if we knew the right questions to ask...

War of the Words

Thu, 26 Feb 2009 17:06:37 GMT

lately, there has been too much bitching going on. i am tired. tired of listening. tired of having to keep up with the latest bits of gossip. SICK & TIRED of having to choose sides. why can't everyone just get along? *sigh* i've decided i dun wanna join this wrestling match of who's right, who's wrong and who should win the award for "Most Misunderstood Person".

but being me, i decided to go ahead and add my 2cents worth anyway. hehe! i've written my very own (first time ever!) self-help manual that could possibly save your life! if this sells, and i get rich and famous, dun worry... i'll remember to add ur names in my 'thank you' speech. :)

"Guide to a Less Bitchier You : 5 Golden Rules that will Keep your Friends from Running Away."

#1. No One is Obliged to YOUR Opinion.
particularly difficult for some individuals, it is essential to recognise that the world does not revolve around you. if you don't want people thinking of you as a prejudgemental bastard, then 'tis much better to keep your opinions to yourself. especially if your definition of the word opinion is the immunity to being told you're wrong.

#2. Verbal Diarrhea.
defined as the condition suffered by an individual who lacks the abiltity to shut the fuck up. consequences can prove to be extremely hilarious or highly disastrous. if you find you have a need to keep talking and are desperately looking for anyone (or anything) that will listen, you are most likely suffering from this unfortunate disease. you need help. time to visit your friendly neighbourhood psychiatrist! (they're paid to listen...)

#3. The Art of Listening.
a very difficult technique to master, but highly benefitial and rewarding once mastered. (it must be exciting to discover that there is actually a use to the organs on either sides of your big head...) you might find it difficult to comprehend what is being said to you, especially if this is your first time actually listening. but practice makes perfect! you'll get the hang of it. works exceptionally well with rule #5.

#4. The Magic Word : "SORRY!"
never used it before? well, there's a first time for everything! it's time to add this 5-lettered wonder to your dictionary. here's how it works:
when being confronted : say "sorry" and wait for apology to be accepted.
when confronting : when confronted individual(s) say "sorry", accept apology, shake hands and leave content of confrontation behind.
works best when genuine.

#5. Smile & Nod.
a combination of actions developed over centuries by males victimised by the incessant blabber of their girlfriends. if you belong to the category of people who just don't care about what others think or feel, and have difficulty in understanding rules #1 to #4, then this is the perfect solution for you. PRETEND YOU CARE! just smile and nod...

contents of this entry is not meant to offend; and solely for entertainment... peace out!

confessions of a BITCH...

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 17:33:51 GMT

you are a Drama Queen.
everyone's got a story to tell.
what made you believe we were obliged to your far fetched opinions & your tall tales?

man... i just wish i had the gutts to tell you to SHUT UP!

please let Friday come fast...

Wed, 11 Feb 2009 12:30:12 GMT

i have never been to Bali...

i can't stop bouncing in my seat right now! VERY EXCITED CAN?! hehe! so many things i wanna do! maybe try something naughty... AND SHOPPING!!! i've been saving every penny for Bali. if only the cheque came in today, it would be heaven in Bali! but it's all good. i shall borrow money from my mummy first. if i'm lucky, she'll forget all about it! *evil laughter* i heard the sunsets in Bali are to die for... well, i wouldn't really want to die while watching one. but i'm pretty sure it's going to be an out-of-this-world experience. :) oh! and i am going to get a haircut in Bali! i wonder what kinky hairstyle i'm gonna come back with... and Wani, dun worry. i won't forget you! everytime i'm having fun, i'll shed a tear cos u're not there. promise. and i'll bring back lots of stuff for you. 3 jars. one with sand, one with sea-water and one with the air from Bali. hehe!

oh well... goodbye my friends! see you when i get back...

weeeee!!!

"Frenz 4eva!"

Mon, 09 Feb 2009 05:23:10 GMT

i wait by the phone, but you don't call. i saw you yesterday and called your name. but you surprised me when you turned away from my voice. it was when i saw the pictures. you were laughing. surrounded by new faces...

...and i finally realised

u broke my heart today.
ignorance is kind.
there's no comfort in truth.
but your eyes, they don't lie.
all i see is,
Rejection. Betrayal. and a feeling i can't quite comprehend...
we built an Eden together.
my world with you meant everything.
but today is different.
i'm standing in the midst of ruins, where the walls of Trust once stood tall.
and i'm wondering why i ever believed that you would stay.
don't you remember your promises of "Forever & Ever" & "i'll ALWAYS be there..."?
i guess nothing lasts forever.
don't worry about me. i'll be alright.
days will turn to weeks. months into years.
you will be but a faint memory etched in my heart.
& this be the last tear i shed for you.
i'm done with you.

dedicated to the many people i no longer call Friend...

Swimming with the Kois.

Sun, 01 Feb 2009 18:06:02 GMT

Once upon a time, in a tiny, little island called Singapura, there lived a girl named CRL... (names have been changed to protect the ~~innocent~~ humiliated) Every Sunday, this little girl would put on her Sunday's Best, and take the Choo Choo Train all the way to town, to where the Fountain of Wealth stood tall, to see her Best Friend. The little girl loved her Sundays very much. Especially on the Sundays that her father took her out for fancy lunches for only $3.95!

On this one fateful day, the little girl was standing near a Magic Pond, where the Koi fish lived, watching what Tony Roma was cooking in his little kitchen. He was very well known for his Ribs, Seafood & Steaks. She wanted very much to eat Tony's mouth-watering signature ribs, but dreaded having to wash all the pates in the kitchen after that. So, she decided to go home and make a healthy sandwhich with whatever she coul find in the little fridge she had at home. As she turned to leave the Magic Pond, where the Koi fish lived, a little boy came running up from behind her bumped into her. In a flash, she saw the World tumbling upside down, and then "SPLASH!"

...she fell into the pond.

You see, because the little girl's mother had been feeding her lots of yummy food over the Christmas holidays, her little behind was not so little anymore. And because of this little, most unfortunate detail, her centre of gravity caused her to lose her balance, slip and fall right into the Magic Pond, where the Koi fish lived. And because it was a Sunday, and everyone else had also come to where the Fountain of Wealth stood tall, to see their Best Friend, there were quite alot of people, also standing at the Magic Pond, where the Koi fish lived. Drenched to the bone, she thought to herself,

"If only I could drown in this Magic Pond, then everyone would stop laughing at poor me!"

But the pond was only as deep as the little girl's ankles.

So the poor little girl (whose name i shall withhold from all you evil, laughing readers), ran all the way home, crying, wondering if she could ever get the smell of fish off her Sunday's Best...

The End

based on a true story...

Here Goes!

Thu, 29 Jan 2009 11:10:07 GMT

I stopped blogging years ago, when my dad 'accidently' found my blog and started reading it. the man found a perfect way to sabotage my life. anyway, i have decided to put that traumatising experience behind me, and bravely step into the world of blogging again! so...

be nice to me!!!
i'm new...

now i'm stuck. there's so many things i wanna say, but i dunno where to start...

should i tell you abt my new year resolutions? oh wait. i dun have any. or what i've been up to so far maybe? i MUST tell you abt the camp of the year : SMSS DOTS CONNECTION'09!!! or maybe i should start with what an awesomely boring day today has been... and throw in a few of my dirty little secrets... hehe! DREAM ON! or maybe, i can start with some of this gossip everyone's been dying to hear. haha!

*sigh* gimme some time. i'll figure it out...